The Fatherhood Guide

The Fatherhood Guide: Returning Soon

April 30th, 2012

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Hard at work

So you may have noticed that not much has happened here recently.

Well, I’ve had my hands full. Between work, family and my new job teaching at American University, there hasn’t been a ton of time for chronicling life.

But that will change soon.

There is so much to discuss as Hava fast approaches her first birthday. (Did those words just come out of my keyboard?????) I mean, look at her working feverishly as my assistant editor!

Of course, content here is about much more than me and my family — it’s about dads in general, at all stages.

Make sure you sign-up to get The Fatherhood Guide delivered to your inbox whenever new content is published. Then send this link to everyone you know. And ask them to do the same.

We’re in the midst of a Dad-volution!

Coolest Dad EVER.

April 27th, 2012

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Seriously.

Dads, Airport Security and Breastmilk

March 18th, 2012

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I understand and respect the job of airport security.

They are, truly, the primary line of defense before people get on an airplane. Post 9/11, their job has become a regular part of air travel.

And, for the most part, I’ve never had an issue with them. I’ve been on the road a lot over the past few years, going through nearly 20 airports since 2010.

But I recently had an interesting encounter that bears respectful discussion.

Here’s the situation:

My wife and I went on our first trip post-baby without our little girl – a long weekend in Boston! From there, my wife had to fly across the country for work, while I went home.

We were on our last weeks of breastfeeding – so my wife pumped a little bit during our trip so I could bring it home and store it.

On previous trips, she had been able to take bags of milk through security and on the plane, ensuring it made it home unscathed. So, I prepared to bring it on the plane with me.

I know it’s not very usual for a man traveling alone to carry bags of breast milk, but the exchange that followed was quite offensive (some parts paraphrased):

Officer: You can’t bring that aboard.

Me: But it’s breast milk for my baby.

Officer: Where’s your wife?

Me: On her way to Los Angeles for work. She has done this several times, bringing the bags on the plane with her.

Officer: Well…that’s because she’s your wife……

I found that last portion to be insultingly sexist.

Why can’t a dad bring home food for his child?

Why would it be OK for a woman to carry breast milk on, whereas a dad can’t do it?

The officer asked me again where my wife was (on a plane) and where my baby was (home with her grandmother).

Again, I understand their role and if I was doing security, I would likely look strangely at a man carrying breast milk.

However, in the year 2012, how is this treatment OK?

My wife works – and works hard. And in order to help her be a successful working mother, I brought milk home to our baby. There is no reason why a dad should be treated differently than a mom in this situation.

Postscript: After talking to a supervisor, I was allowed to take the milk with me. I chose to catch an earlier flight instead of making a formal complaint.

Kissy Face!

March 15th, 2012

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Hava met a friend in the mirror after she took a bath…and gave her a big, happy kiss!

Won’t Daniel Tiger Be Your Neighbor?

March 11th, 2012

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At SXSW this year, PBS Kids introduced their new show from The Fred Rogers Company – Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood.

Fans of Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood will remember the first puppet to ever appear on the show, Daniel Striped Tiger. This new mostly-animated show will feature the adventures of his four-year old son, Daniel Tiger, and will include many other children of characters from the Land of Make-Believe.

The show is set to launch on PBS stations around the company in September 2012.

I can’t tell you how excited I am for this show.

As a parent, I want my children to enjoy many of the things that I loved in my youth. Fred Rogers was a huge part of that, as his show fostered creativity and grew imagination.

Things like the Muppets, Transformers and Thundercats, which I dearly loved, have all come back in recent years with a new slant, allowing today’s kids to feel the same sense of ownership over them that I felt over my versions.

The fact that I can enjoy the “next generation” of Mr. Rogers with my daughter, but have it geared to her, is the stuff happiness comes from.

And much like other PBS shows, this has been developed almost scientifically to provide maximum educational benefit. (For more information on the development of kids shows, I highly recommend reading Malcolm Gladwell’s “The Tipping Point.”)

Also of note – PBS is considering developing a Daniel Tiger stuffed animal. I say yes. Do it!

Hava’s First Words!

February 14th, 2012

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Hearing a baby’s first real words are one of the happiest moments parents can experience.

And on Valentine’s Day 2012, Hava gave us a reason to celebrate.

She was sitting on her mom’s lap after eating dinner. She saw me walk by.

I said, “Hey, Hava!”

And then she said:

“Hey, Dada.”

I heard it, Marisa heard it – it counted.

[To be fair, she had said "Hi" a few times, but that's not the same.]

Hearing my daughter say the word “Dada” was exhilarating. I can’t wait to learn her voice and hear her say thousands and thousands of words. Being able to actually interact with our child is one of the things we’re most looking forward to.

As soon as “Hey, Dada” came out, we started working on “Hey, Mama.” That may be a ways away, and I’m OK with that :–)

Later that night, we took this awesome video, as she learns to find her voice and play with her puppy:

Baby Hives Ruin Weekends

February 12th, 2012

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My wife had a great line she posted on Facebook last night.

Wrong hive, Pooh Bear!

She said, “I’m learning that plans are merely optimistic ideas when you have children.”

So true.

We were all set for a relaxing, productive weekend, capped with one of the largest wine and food festivals in the world on Sunday afternoon.

Until Saturday morning, that is.

We were getting Hava out of her pajamas and into some play clothes when we noticed a few raised splotches on her shoulder. We saw another small raised patch on her thigh.

It was the first time we had ever seen anything like it on her, so we called our pediatrician’s office immediately.

They instructed us to come in and be seen ASAP.

Naturally, that meant over an hour in the waiting room before meeting with the doctor. But once Hava was examined, he immediately diagnosed the spots, which had grown and moved – MOVED – as hives.

Here’s the weird part: no variables had changed.

Same detergent, same diet (for her and Marisa), same everything.

After an additional 45 minutes in the office, plus no less than five follow-up calls with the doctor, we were all dumbfounded. The only solution is that the hives are tied to a cold or other virus. Translation: there ain’t much to do.

But hives can cause major breathing problems, so Hava spent Saturday night sleeping in our bed, meaning we didn’t sleep much.

Even now, she still has some redness and swelling – poor kid.

And, despite having our tickets for weeks, we’re not going to the wine festival, which was how we were going to celebrate Valentine’s Day this year. Bummer.

But as long as we’ve got each other, we can celebrate anything, anytime, anywhere.

Rectal Thermometers and Projectile Vomiting

January 29th, 2012

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You know you’ve hit a parenting milestone when you are holding down your child, minutes after she projectile vomited all over your sweater and jeans, so your wife can take her temperature. Rectally.

Nobody is having fun in that scenario.

And that’s what happened to us this past weekend.

Hava seems to have attracted some sort of snotty cold, and is dripping down to her stomach.

Combine that with the fact that we have been changing her diet to include more vegetables – especially bright-colored ones like butternut squash and sweet peas – and we’ve got a recipe for upchuck disaster.

Since babies can’t blow their nose or remove phlegm any other way, they tend to throw it up, along with the contents of their stomach.

And if the front end wasn’t fun enough, the back side is so bad, Vincent Price’s rap from Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” is the only way to describe it:

The foulest stench is in the air
The funk of forty thousand years
And grizzly ghouls from every tomb
Are closing in to seal your doom

Concerned about her well-being after several rounds of vomit, we decided to take her temperature.

And, as every parent knows, the most accurate reading comes from inside the rump.

So there we were, on a Saturday night, holding our baby down so we could stick a thermometer in her rear.

And that was before she threw up all over our bed, including the comforter.

Good times. Great fun.

C is for Carrots and Homemade Baby Food Adventures

January 23rd, 2012

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Just before Hava turned six months old, we started introducing vegetables in her diet.

We waited a little big longer than our pediatrician recommended because we were concerned about her ability to hold her head up, one of the most important factors in knowing if baby is ready for “real” food.

Her first food was Daddy’s Choice! Sweet Potatoes, what what!?!?!?!!!!!!!!!

We took recipe inspiration from our two favorite baby food sources: Chef Geoff’s Baby Love cookbook and Momtastic’s Wholesome Baby Food Blog.

Step one was to bake the sweet potatoes for about an hour, which made the house smell SO delicious. We let them cool before peeling and chunking them. The most fun step was to puree the bejeezus out of them, until the sweet potatoes resembled a delicious bisque!

LEARNING LESSON: Using water to help puree the veggies instead of breastmilk will help make it easier to heat up, since breastmilk do cookie monster veggies esn’t need to be warmed up very much.

Once pureed, we scooped the mixture into ice cube trays for overnight freezing.

The next morning, we took out the trays and put the cubes into freezer bags labelled with the name of the veggie plus the date we made it, to help ensure we used all the cubes within the right amount of time. Check with your doctor or trusted baby book to find a duration you’re comfortable with.

With the cubes made, we just pop two into a small glass dish, microwave for 30 seconds, add in some breastmilk and — voila — dinner!

After the sweet potatoes went well for several days, we started adding a vegetable each week or so.

Thus far, we’ve had success with squash (acorn and butternut) and peas. The one veggie that little Hava HATES is carrots.

To help ease the pain of carrots, we have two main tricks:

1) Mix one cube of carrots with one cube of another veggie she loves.

2) I sing my patented parody of the Sesame Street classic “C is for Cookie:” “C is for Carrot,” in which she looks at the carrot and I say “yummy yummy yummy yummy” over and over and over again. Spoiler alert: it fails. Every time.

Ah well. If she eats every veggie EXCEPT carrots, things can’t be that bad, right?